come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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