If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
