I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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