I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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