I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
