fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
