do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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