the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
