I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
