the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
