dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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