Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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