I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
