left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
