Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
