Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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