At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
