do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
