I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
