Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
