I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
