Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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