The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
