You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
