Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
