Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
