But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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