Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
