Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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