Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
okay pat passed out under dana's car
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
