Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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