the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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