Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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