I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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