Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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