Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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