UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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