yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
