The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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