New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is wine microwaveable?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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