Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
