It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
