i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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