Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
