I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Sober January is a disaster.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
