I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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