Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Someone signed my nipple.
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