It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think I won the penis lottery.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
