I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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