I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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