Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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