It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
