Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
