420 ftw
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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