Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
