She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
