There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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