I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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