i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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