is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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