My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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