Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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