well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
