so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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