this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
