Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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