i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
